Melanie's Mostly Writing

I have suffered from depression at times in the past, and am probably bipolar. I can be very up and down in my moods and energy levels. Sometimes, it would feel just like a burst of energy and creativity, but sometimes it would feel less controllable. The medication I am on now, means I am more balanced, but also more dull. There is a flatness to everything now. I never cry anymore, I feel less of everything.

I have asked the doctor several times about stopping my medication. He always says no, stating that my symptoms would return. I fear he just wants a customer and think I could manage without it. I am on a low dose. I doubt my doctor. Perhaps I should listen to him, but I want to try and manage without meds. I want to feel again. I want that creative streak to return. The medication may be why I’m not writing much. I wonder how many writers and artists struggle with finding that balance.