I didn’t know it, but it seems like I’m a control freak! Perhaps it’s because, like so many women, I’ve been in positions in the past where I’ve had no control over events, and that was immensely frustrating and damaging. I have discovered I hate getting massages. I just can’t surrender to it and relax, whether it’s a human or a machine. I also dislike being a passenger in a car, I much prefer to be in control and drive.
One area where I feel I’m not in control is with characters and their actions. Obviously they come from me, so this is an illusion, but so often they are not the product of conscious thought on my part, rather something which seems to be already and is revealed to me. I guess my subconscious is in control at these times. My fiance says I look so happy when I write. Perhaps because it’s one place where I really can let go and anything can happen.
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